The Hamby Family

2010-10-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, we have a date set! I am going to my Dad and step mom's next weekend and am stoked about it to say the least! Guys, I've seen more of my Dad over the last two years than I have over the 10 years he's been in Florida! Now that he's in Oklahoma, this is going to be a three to four week deal. I want to spend AS MUCH TIME as I can with him and build a special relationship with him so he can get closer to Christ. I gave him the Gospel of John movie for his birthday last year and he's yet to watch it. I've asked him a couple times about it and he's always got an excuse. I know it's not a top priority. Once he watches it, I know he'll have a better understanding of the Gospel. My goal is to watch it with him when I'm there. I just love that movie and could watch it 1000 times over. Please pray for me to be the salt and light of Christ and that God will have his hands on that situation. He'll give me the right words to say so that I don't push my Dad away.

Insurance adjuster comes out tomorrow to price out the damages to our summer flood. I hope that they over price the cost so that we aren't spending a lot of our own money to fix what wasn't broken. I go to the doctor for a check up. Hopefully he will have lots of good things to say!

2010-10-04T10:32:00.001-07:00

I talked with my Dad today. Seems like the movers JUST showed up today! He moved from Florida to Oklahoma week before last and have been living out of their suitcases since then. I'm so glad they showed up today because we would have been without three less mover guys in this world had they not...my Dad's words, not mine. :)

He seems to be okay, get's out of breath easily. I tell him to take it easy but telling him that is like telling a brick wall to stop being a brick. He just can't, it's not in his nature. I just talked with him for a short while. Didn't get to talk to him much about what was going on with me. He said he'll call back, usually means it will come in a text later on. I know he's busy, so I'll let it slide and call him tomorrow.

Good grief, little man is STILL asleep from his nap at 9. I don't know about you but I'm afraid that the afternoon nap just turned into the morning nap. :) Well, I think I'll pop my head in and see if he's breathing. Have a blessed day!

2010-09-30T08:21:00.001-07:00

When you think the worst thing has ever happened, think that God put it in motion for our good. You could look at a situation, and think..."it's not going to get any worse". Oh but it could! I am praising God today because things could have been worse for us.

On Tuesday, a shut off valve to our hot water heater in part of our home broke. It was spewing water out for four hours because the area of the house it happened to was a renter apartment. It's connected to our home but doesn't interact at all with it. So when my son and I were leaving, I noticed the water. It only got worse when I walked into the apartment and noticed everything was under water. The GOOD NEWS is that there was an electrical outlet that should have caught fire, but didn't. That was a blessing, God was watching over us.

These are some lyrics that put it the best way that I can; song from Casting Crowns.

"I lift my eyes unto the hils.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
Maker of heaven and earth.
And though my heart is torn,
I will praise you in this storm.

2010-09-27T18:14:00.001-07:00

It's so cold outside. What a wonderful transition to a new season. I love this time of year because we keep the windows open and the house smells so fresh all day long. I love being able to tuck my head under the sheets in the morning and really love a fresh cup of coffee to start off the day!

Had Mom's Connection today. Loved every minute of it...looked forward to it for two weeks. I need to connect with women who have children Austin's age. Austin seems to have SO much fun at church and I feel sad when we have to make him leave. The girls at my table are wonderful, all bringing something totally different to the table, new experiences, new stages, new EVERYTHING. I've never seen so many pregnant women in one room before as in this group. At least 12-15 women are pregnant! Five of which could pop at any moment. :)

It's a huge blessing to be able to be part of this group. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for me here.

2010-09-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

So, the move-in date for my date is finally here! The movers will come Sept. 28-29 to pack their stuff up and then deliver their belongings from Oct 2-4. I told my Dad that I wanted to come to help Debby unpack boxes and Dad made it CLEAR to me that the movers didn't want anyone in their way when unloading the truck. So I'm guessing that I'll get to go up and see him and my step mom the weekend of the 9th or 16th. No word yet on if Sy will get to go with me or not. I had faith from the very beginning that I would get to spend more time with my Dad. I had no idea that God was moving him closer to me. I'm so blessed!

Special Note:
With over 200 verses on faith in the bible, there should be no doubt that we should put our trust in him.

MAT 7:24  "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them
into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

2010-08-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

I just gotta say! I love leftover nights. I especially love tonight because "America's Got Talent" is on and I don't have to cook! Yippie!!

Sy went to do a research job for a local company. He won't be home until 7 or so. He's getting paid to do it and I know he really wants to be home with his family. I'm proud of him for being strong and taking the job. Every little bit of money helps.

Looking forward to Thursday...going with my home-girls to Carter Blood Care to give blood. Yikes. My husband and cousin will remember the last time I gave blood...they had to ice me down afterward, TWICE! And I'm not talking in the same sitting. They iced me down the first time, we left the building and had to come back!!!! Oh boy. If you're finicky like me, don't watch the ones you love give blood the "double" way. Because when the machines start blinking and making noise, I panicked and then it was over with. :) I'm able to give now because I'm not breastfeeding or prego so bring it on blood vampire.

Yep, still excited about my Dad moving to OKC. He might be moving TX/OU weekend which is totally gonna suck for them cause I'm a TEXAS fan. :) They are in for a surprise I can ASSURE you. Toodles.

Weekend...Already!?!?

2010-08-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

I love weekends. Weekends are great because it's just like any other day except for the fact that the hubby is home. We don't have anything planned other than maybe seeing some family. Other than that, it's open! Yay! I really, really love stress free weekends.

My dad texted me this morning. He said that his cancer is dormant right now. Which means that the cancer could be back tomorrow and all over. He said, "live like every day is a gift and don't look back". I hate when he says stuff like that because it just means that his time on this earth is numbered. Now, really...I already knew that. I just hate when he say's it. Because I never know if he's worse off than he really is or what. Either way, I know that our lives on earth are numbered. All of us! Every day we have is a gift from God, so why wait for the grass to grow? Get up and take a chance. My Dad had his quote right, "live like every day is a gift"....but does he really understand that THAT gift is from God?

I have to focus on him understanding that this life of his is a gift from God and that he needs to work on getting closer to Christ, not finalizing his memorial service plans. Oh boy, I have my work cut out for me I think.

2010-08-26T05:08:00.000-07:00

Austin and I are both getting over colds. Yuck. I've had mine since Thursday of last week and Autin, since Tuesday. He takes the cold like a champ though and that's great. Not getting up at night because he can't breath and he's getting tons of sleep even with the cold.

I painted our pourch last night with some extra paint we had. I'm almost finished with it. Doesn't hardly look any different, other than the tree that was painted on the back wall is gone. :) Looks more formal now.

Sure wish more rain would show up tomorrow. Our land needs it. The rain we had yesterday just make the cracks thirsty!

Quickie

2010-08-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for a big move for my Dad in October. I'm so excited about having him close to home. Have I said that before...? YEAH, I'M SO EXCITED! :) Made some yummy chocolate chip cookies for the hubby today. Gonna have to send them to his office so I don't eat the whole batch. Austin started walking a month ago but just now got the hang of it. He's off everywhere...walking! I love this stage. I've lost three pounds just chasing him. More tomorrow...God just keeps blessing us more and more. Praise Him!

PRAISE GOD!

2010-08-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

My dad called me this week to spread some really, really good news!

He told me that he'll be moving to Oklahoma City in October. This has been a long time prayer of mine for over ten years...even more-so now that he's got cancer. I'll be close enough to him to see him at Christmas (haven't had a Christmas with him in over ten years) and when he gets sick, I'll be able to travel with ease to see him. God is so good to my family. The company my Dad worked for is paying for the movers, the lease (and it's terms, totaling up to be $7500) they have on their apartment, plus some un-paid bills. I can't say exactly how much it was but it took my Dad's breath away. It has removed a tremendous amount of stress from my Dad. He seems so happy and excited, I haven't seen him this full of energy in a long time. God is so, so, SO good. Praise Him with me, will ya! :)

A New LIfe Stage

2010-08-08T13:48:00.000-07:00

And....WE'RE OFF!

Yep! We're at a new stage in our lives. We went from spending every waking moment together, minus the couple hours Sy worked in the yard, the hour I spent working in the house and the eight to ten hours spent sleeping to...Sy being gone nine hours a day. Yes, you heard me correctly. Sy finally got a job. After eight weeks of being home (loved every minute of it) he'll start work in two days. He got a job that is within his field, paying him exactly what he asked for, it has insurance (group plan) and close to home. Praise God! This current stage has tested the unconditional love that we have for each other so many times. But our love is so strong and we can't do anything without Christ being the center. Even though he'll be at work and I'll miss him terribly, I'm looking forward to having the wife and mom role back again. Looking forward to having the house to take care of, dinner ready on the table, baby fed and clean...that whole scenario back. I've missed it but loved having him here. He got so much done while he's been home, in fact...the "honey-do" list is BLANK! :)

This stage is going to be interesting and going to make me realize how much I took for granted him being home all the time. I'll hold on to tomorrow (the last day he'll be home all day).

Check it!

2010-07-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

I just posted some sweet, sweet stuff on my blog. A new goal date has popped out of the clear blue sky (well...not really). November 1, 2010. You wanna know what day that is significant for? That's the day that I will be at my goal weight, in shape and ready for family planning! :) Yep, baby number two might just come into visual that month. Only if I reach my goal weight. Check out my Deo Volente blog for more info if you're really that interested.

On another note, my dad is doing great! PRAISE GOD! His tumors have shrunk and/or stopped growing. He took his last treatment on the 15th of this month. His side-effects should be starting to hit hard today or tomorrow. Please pray that they don't take a toll on him and that he stays strong...this is the last of it hopefully. He has to check-up treatments over the next 21 days just to keep his body in check and for the doctors to make sure nothing terrible is happening since he'll be off chemo. Keep him and my step mom in your prayers.

What A Year!

2010-07-12T12:47:00.001-07:00

We are now reaching the end of the first year of our son's life. I can only imagine what the next years are going to bring. He's been such a blessing and put us on the ride of our lives. We've been so blessed. I hate to jinks any of this but we haven't had to stay up with him at night because of a sickness, had a bad experience in public, had to leave some place early because of him...any of that. He slept through the night as six weeks. He's always a good baby, everywhere we go! I can't imagine it any other way. Oh, what the stress would be like. My mom says that the next child will be a girl and "hell on wheels". I pray she's wrong but God does have a sense of humor and maybe he was just fooling us into thinking we'll have it easy on "kid street". **wink**

We are going to his One Year check up on Thursday. I have prepared my mind for the horror that lays within those doors upon arrival. Them poking my sweet little boy with four needles all within three seconds. NOT JOKING!! He'll be a little tired for the rest of the day but still in a good mood. Go figure. Then Saturday we are celebrating his birthday with family. He's got an Elmo themed birthday party. I decided it last week. What could be better than to indulge in something he loves.

God is GOOD!

2010-06-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

I got a text from my Dad yesterday. It seems that the PET scans came back with good news on his cancer. He's responding to the Chemo well!! He's gaining weight and starting to workout a little. He's even breathing better, sleeping better and overall in good spirits. He just had his third treatment, please pray that the treatment doesn't make him sick (the second one did). I didn't think that he would have responded to the treatment so well but he's strong and will not give up. :) I'm so proud of him!

Austin is still not walking yet (praise God for that). He's crawling all over the house but we can still keep him contained. Don't know how long that will actually last. Sy hasn't heard back from any prospect's yet (hopefully we'll know from the hopeful one today). His chances of getting it (according to him) go down considerably as every day passes by. Oh and if you know someone who needs help with their computer go to: www.meekgeeks.net for fast, reliable computer service. They can even remote access into your computer! Talk about quick service. :) It's Sy's company and he'll give you good rates. Check it out!

Update!

2010-06-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

Today is the 14th of June, my son is almost 1 year old. He started crawling a month ago and is already standing on his own. He's not walking but I know he want's to. I can't believe that it's been almost a year since he was born. Our lives have changed since then and I couldn't imagine life without him. He's been a huge blessing to both my husband and I. I started a new blog: www.deo--volente.blogspot.com If you haven't had a chance to check it out, please do. I'm on a quest to lose some weight so that I can be healthy, have good pregnancies and most of all be a good steward of the body God gave me.

Austin has kept me so busy and definitely on my toes. I have to have the energy to keep up with him and need to be in shape. As I said in my other blog "Deo Volente", I have a goal to lose 50 pounds by Christmas and I can do it with God's help.

I talked to my Dad this morning. He said he hasn't felt this good in six months. I'm so proud of him for sticking with it. He was sick the second treatment but seems to be doing much better now. Thank you for all the prayers. They are working, keep up the good work.

Whoa!

2010-06-05T18:58:00.001-07:00

I haven't written on here in a while...I'm sorry. For those of you who actually follow me, things have been hectic. Not only are things moving right along in my world but they are moving right along in my Dad's world too! God has been listening to our prayers (AS ALWAYS!!!). All the frustration and anger has subsided to almost nothing at this point.

I got a phone call from my Dad a couple weeks ago. He said that he was virtually pain free, going to play golf, off of a breathing machine and eating everything that wasn't nailed down. Praise God! I am so, SO thankful that he is doing so well! After at least six long months of 24 hour pain, he's finally getting the relief he needs!

In my world, Austin has began crawling. Something that I could have waited for at least another month. He's been so close this last month and a half it was only a matter of time. At this point, he's almost walking. He stands for seconds at a time and then goes back to creeping on the couch. It's rather cute! I've had to get down to his level to see what's dangerous in our home and what's not. You can't baby-proof everything. At some point, he's got to learn not to touch the big screen tv (bang it actually), the VCR, DVD player or Tuner. We actually cleaned all the cords out from back behind so if he did actually get back behind there, he would be safe. The only thing he could actually hurt would be the electronics themselves. He's learning and he really does know what "NO" means.

We put up a metal frame pool last weekend. We love it! We've been swimming in it at least 8 times and Austin get's mad if we have to get out. If you haven't seen the facebook pictures of him swimming, check it out. They're rather cute! :) I am quickly planning a birthday party for Austin's first birthday! We have a huge area to actually put the party on and we have the means for a big cookout. So my guess at this point (as long as my sweet hubby doesn't object) is that we'll have a cookout with family, friends and life group. I'm excited.

We've also had a tenant move into the back part of our home. It's a 1000 sq. ft. apartment with w/d connections, dining room, living and big master bedroom! She's very quiet and keeps to herself all the time. If her car wasn't parked out front, we wouldn't even know she was here. It's great! I hope that this situation last's as long as it needs to!

Oh, Sy started a new company called MeekGeeks. It's a computer repair company like Geek Squad but way cheaper! It's great because he can come to you or fix it virtually (remote access). Oh, what a great thing for women who don't want a strange man coming into their home. The company is a Christian based company. If you are interested, please check them out at: www.meekgeeks.net

I'm out!

What's in a Title Anyway...?

2010-04-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

Hey! :) I couldn't come up with a title so I just put that. Ha ha. Well, the time is closing in. I am going to see my Dad NEXT WEEK! I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. I've been praying about the time when I go see him and what it will all lead to. The prayers now need to be stronger (I feel) than before because it's getting closer. So my prayer is that God leads me what to say. That my Dad will open his mind and heart to hear God's word. That my step-mom will be moved to do some changing in her own life as well. At this point, I'm not prepared to talk to her about her salvation. If God leads me to and he probably will, then I will talk to her when I'm there. So pray that he moves in that direction and guides me on how to talk in that situation too.

He started Radiation seven days ago. He said he's really tired but nothing else! I talked to him this morning and he said, "baby, yesterday for 45 minutes, I had NO PAIN". Praise God! Our prayers are working...keep up the good work! He was out of breath but very talkative. That's good news for my dad. He said he's out of breath most days but some days are better than others. From what I gathered, the tumors are in his spine, neck, shoulder and on the top right lung. He's also got the majority of his right lung covered in cancer.

I'm at grips with all of this but still haven't grasped the fact that my dad is sick and I might lose him. It's almost like, ignorance is bliss. I don't call him on the phone much because it's hard for him to talk. I don't like to hear him grasp for air and it kills me to hear him struggling. It seems like he's okay with going. He's making the proper arrangements and talks about being cremated. He want's his ashes spread out on the OU football field...I'm laughing right now. I laugh because I think that my Nanny (his mom) would have LOVED the same thing but didn't have time to make those arrangements. It's going to make her roll over in her grave to know that Dad came up with that idea and she didn't. I love it! :) Nanny bled crimson and cream colors. I can't think of one day in my entire life where she didn't wear, speak or honk those colors. I pray that they will be together when he goes. She was saved but didn't always strive to be a godly woman. I know she loved Jesus but her priorities were off just a tad. :)

I'm excited about going to Florida...the more I think about it, the more my heart races. I know that God will speak to me about what needs to be said to my Dad. He's just got to be led to Christ...he just has to!

While He was on the cross...I was on His mind

2010-04-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

Wait...what?!? Seriously! He was on the cross, dying for ME and for everyone who has and will be put into creation. Two days from now our savior rose from the dead, conquered the grave and saved us from eternal damnation. Praise Him for loving us so much that he died for us. Give him your life and everything that you own. Luke 9 23-24 says: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. How can anyone ignore the fact that he IS real!?!? It just amazes me that people still think that there is nothing after life on this earth. Look at the bible, the scriptures and all the facts behind our amazing God.

Third Day says it best when they sing this amazing song. Listen to some of the words.

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name, care to feel my hurt.
Who am I that the bright and morning star would choose to light the way for my ever wondering heart? Not because of who I am but because of what you done. Not because of what I've done but because of who you are. I am a flower quickly fading here today and gong tomorrow...Vapor in the wind still you hear me when I'm calling Lord you catch me when I'm falling. I am yours.

Give yourself to God. Claim He is yours and shout to the rafters above, "there is none like you that fills my soul with joy and peace. God please take my life and let it be!"

Can I get some relief....Please!

2010-04-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

You know, God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I keep thinking that with everything that's been going on lately, I'll get some relief...soon. I don't know when I've had enough but I feel like enough is ENOUGH. I have to keep thinking that all of THIS is going to make me stronger. I'll have more experience, more wisdom, more advice for my children and others when all this is said and done.

Without going into too much detail: I had a granny sick, an aunt dieing, a mother and step father getting a divorce, a father and step mother getting kicked out of their home, a father in the hospital with pneumonia and then finding out he had cancer all within three weeks of each other. Now, my husband and I are financially burdened. So much in fact that we may have to do some serious changes around our home. I have never been scared of not having a place to live, clothes on my back, food to eat or money to tithe. God had always provided for us. We haven't gone without anything, even though we totally deserve the worst! Just breathe...

God loves us and doesn't want to see us suffer. He knows that all our experiences will make us stronger and if we glorify him in all things, than others will see our faith and want to know more. So I keep my head held high with a smile on my face and praise God every chance I get. One of my most favorite hymns makes all this seem silly. Let me share:

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

Treatment

2010-03-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

So my Dad sent me a text yesterday. He said the doctor was impressed at how strong my Dad was for his age. He thinks that the treatment will do my Dad some good. My Dad seems to think that this doctor knows what he's talking about and will be able to prolong my Dad's life. I am going to give my Dad the benefit of the doubt and trust he's really telling me the truth and not softening the blow for later.

He said that the treatment will start April 2, 2010. He want's to give my Dad some more time to heal from this..."non-invasive" surgery. I still haven't figured out why he's so sore and STILL recovering from a non-invasive surgery where they put in a tiny camera. Either way, he's recovering and they'll start treatment then.

So as for my visiting my Dad...he still hasn't given me the option to come see him. I'm going to give him till the end of the weekend and then I'll give him two options. No more mister (mrs) nice gal!

I'm doing better than before on dealing with my Dad's lung cancer news. I still haven't figured out how I feel. I'm torn because I want my Dad around. He was going to move back to Texas or Oklahoma in five to ten years. That was going to give us some time to spend with each other and time for him to see his grand kids. I'm scared that won't happen but praise God he's with us today. That's all I can do for now...

There is life!

2010-03-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

Yay! So yesterday, Dad sent me several text messages to tell me he was doing okay. He won't talk to me on the phone because it's too hard and maybe a little emotional too. So I've committed to talking to him through text messaging and email.

He seems to be doing fine, from what I can tell. He's sleeping well, eating a little better, and going about his normal life as well as he can with the pain in his shoulder and neck. The doctors seem to have him on a lot of pain meds. which are making him loopy. Good news is that he's talking to me. And a piece of me can breathe again. :)

Just Another Night

2010-03-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

So last night I couldn't go to sleep. I just kept laying there, thinking of what it's going to be like without a dad. My stomach keeps getting knotted up. My chest keeps getting tight. I keep running out of breath. The only thought that keeps going through my head is, "my dad's not saved. My dad's not saved. My dad's not saved".

I am terrified of him dying and not being saved. I'm going to do everything in my power to share God's word with him before he dies. I pray that God will open his heart...soften it to let in God's truth. I pray that he accepts God as his Lord and savior. He is the truth, the way and the life! If I know he's saved, I'm at peace with him going.

I'm afraid of not having a dad. I don't think it's fair. Selfishly, he won't see Austin past his tenth birthday. He probably won't see our second child turn the age of 1. I probably will only see him two times before he's gone. Do I think it's fair...? NO! Do I want him to stay on earth? Yes...with all my heart. Am I going to miss him? Yes...with every bone in my body.

What God has planned for this journey my dad is going on, to Him be the glory for ever and ever! I can't think of what's going to happen. We are all on the same journey dad is on. We just don't know when our journey will end. I know it's begun and time is short for all of us. I just have to work as hard as I can to spread God's love to everyone I know. Dad was on my list...he's just sooner than later.

But in the end, does all this matter? I really need to focus on Dad and his salvation. God help me.

Dealing with Stress

2010-03-01T08:30:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to lose the last two pounds of my baby weight for the last three weeks. This week was the icing on the cake! My stress levels are sky-high, my stomach aches, my head hurts (dealt with a migraine all day Saturday), and I am very sad! I've been instructed to keep a journal, diary...whatever you want to call it. I don't like to write on paper...it's too slow. The quickest way for me to get it down is on the screen. So here it goes....

The week before last my dad came down with pneumonia. Then he developed emphysema. He stayed in the hospital for a week and a half. A week was in ICU. Then he was taken out of the hospital but still couldn't breathe. So they took him to see a doctor. The doctor had him taken to the hospital immediately!! They drained out two litters of fluid out of his right lung. They took tons of tests, ran lab work and all sorts of other things. They took a camera into his lung where they found massive amounts of cancer. He didn't do well during the surgery. They couldn't regulate his breathing so they had to put him in a medically induced coma. A could days went by...the doctors told us that he had "traditional lung cancer". Then the next day, we found out it was stage four. The next...he had developed a condition called "psychosis sp".

I can't deal with any more bad news. My heart aches for him on so many levels. Selfishly I think,"now wait a minute...I'm 30 years old. I can't lose my father yet". There's still so much I wanted to tell him, to talk to him about, to show him". I'm not ready to lose my dad!!!! I never thought in a MILLION years that I would be faced with something so terrible. I know God won't give us more than we can handle. I know that he can MOVE mountains. My faith is there! I just don't see what God's purpose is to keep my dad here or to take him. That's where my mind is flawed. I can only see what's right in front of me. I can't see the big picture. Oh God...as I right this, my heart is just aching! I can't catch my breath. Why is this happening to my dad?!?!?! I can't stop focusing on the thought of him being gone. What it will be like to be without a dad to turn to. I have to focus on the good. Remember the times I had with him. HE'S NOT GONE YET! Relish the moment.

He refuses to talk to me. He's talked (texted) on the phone with my uncle (his brother) but not to me. I've sent numerous texts to him and my step-mom. He's just not ready to talk. I wish I could hear his voice, hug him, pray with him...anything. I want to be near him and at this point, it just seems impossible. I have to give him room. He's having a tough time right now. I'm sure he's scared out of his mind. He always thought his body was made of steel...not so much anymore.

So he's not saved. I've been wrestling with the idea of talking to him since I found out he was sick. It's been one week today actually...I'm terrified of being rejected by him. The first time I shared the Good News with him, he shrugged it off. Said he believed he was saved by just being a good person...EVEN AFTER I TOLD HIM WHAT IT MEANT TO BE SAVED! He just didn't get it. His heart was hard. I pray now, on my knees that God has softened his heart. I'm going to Florida before he starts treatment (if my dad will ever talk to me).

I pray that God will give me the right words to say, the knowledge to answer my dad's questions, the kind words he's looking for when we pray, the strength to not lose it when I see him and pray with him. My heart is like a bucket. It's full of sorrows and sadness for my dad right now. I'm terrified with him...if he goes now, I don't think the journey will be a pleasant one. I pray that God gives me time to get there to talk to him. I trust God will make it happen. You know, God could take the cancer from him right now and he probably wouldn't learn. Maybe he'll take it from him after we have our talk, after my dad's says out loud, "I trust in my God, my savior!" I want to be his hands and feet...go where he sends me. Please pray along with me. Please!

That's all I can do for today. I'll keep a log of this journey so that you can pray right along with me. He needs all the help he can get.

God's Many Blessings

2010-02-01T17:07:00.000-08:00

You know God is looking over you when you never have to fully suffer for something that you totally deserve. What I mean by that long winded sentence is...God is abundant in all his blessings. He continually watches over us in every aspect of our lives. Ever since Austin was born, I've been faced with different ailments. I've been on antibiotics four different times, had two colds and been to the doctor more times than I could count on one hand. Not to mention the struggles that lies between BOTH my diverse (doesn't include my in-laws) families. Through all our struggles, God blesses us. Even though we are suffering, we are rejoicing is His love, His grace and most of all in Him. I can't remember such a time in my life where God has been the focus of my life. Everything I do, I rejoice in the fact that Christ loves me, that he have his life for me. I'm saved because he first loved me (1 John 4:9-10). I'm so blessed!

With all of that, I've decided to write in my blog more now. I've got the motherhood thing under control or so it seems. I'll try to post as much as I can so that all my children (Lord willing) can look back on this post for references (when they don't believe I went through what they went through).

We Have Movement

2010-01-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

You know, it's so funny how we react to our children's accomplishments! We went to Austin's six month visit and doctor asked us if Austin was sitting up. He wasn't technically sitting up on his own but he was trying. The doctor tried to get him to sit up but every time he sat up, he would lean forward. I left the doctors office, feeling defeated, crushed and disappointed. My standard of Austin's sitting up was completly different then the doctor's standard. I could sort of feel that Sy felt that way too! So when we got home, I immediatly started him in on sitting up on his own. He did great! That afternoon, we was sitting up, playing on the floor with his toys beautifully! He had his moments, but all in all he did great. I wanted to call the doctor and tell him, "See, he can sit up. He's a good boy!"

Wet Days - Sweet Sounds

2009-10-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

I love rainy days, especially if you can stay inside. The sounds the rain makes on the roof and going down the spout. Ah...what a relaxing sound they make. Days like this make me want to just sit, with all the lights off, read a book and sip hot chocolate. :)

Austin and I are going to get out today. The rain has stopped and it's just muggy outside. Today he gets a bath when he gets up. Usually we give it to him at night because it relaxes him but we started putting him to bed at nine instead of ten and ran out of time. It's great. He sleeps from 9-7 with a quick feed at 7:!5 and then back to bed until 10:30. It's wonderful! He's such a great baby. I never thought I'd have it so easy. He feeds every four hours and takes three maybe four naps during the day. He's holding his head up, cooing and smiling all the time. He loves his tummy time and plays by himself great! Well gonna go get the boy up in a few. Have a great day!

Finally...back on track.

2009-09-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, so rather than try and keep up with Austins website, I'll just use my own blog and if you want to go to his website for pictures and recent updates, great!

We had Austin on July 14, 2009. He's 10 weeks today! He's sleeping through the night, has great naps during the day and is perfect when we are out as long as he's been fed properly and not fussy. I couldn't ask for a better baby! He has his morning nap, then plays, eats, plays, naps every three and a half hours. It's great!

I love being a stay at home mommy! I can keep the house clean and organized, have dinner on the table right around the time Sy gets home, had his lunch ready for him for the next day, have great quite time and get to read a lot. I never got to do that stuff before. In fact, Sy was making his own lunch most of the time.

Sy started his continuing education classes a couple of weeks ago. He's only going on Tuesday nights right now. He likes the classes but hates being home at 10:30 at night. It's too late for him to see the baby and I'm too tired to carry on any conversation by the time he gets home. It's rough but it might help him get his raise next July. Please pray for that!

We are doing well! Got continues to bless our family in so many ways. He is so good isn't he...proves there's no greater name than the name of Jesus! Have a great week and go bless someone today!

Redirection For Now

2009-06-16T13:42:00.001-07:00

I have a new website that I've been keeping up with. Since I've been pregnant, I've been keeping up with www.ourlittlehamby.webs.com . If you want to check it out please do so. I don't know when I'll be back here to blog.

Learn to Wait....and Listen!!

2008-10-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

I've been blessed with a gift, I know. Where am I going to use it if I don't get that magazine job? What if I do get the other job? It's not graphic design. Was I meant to do something else? I have two potential jobs waiting. I haven't heard back from either one. I think it's because God is wanting me to make up my mind and then he'll open the door and push me in. If I had it my way God would open one door and I would run in full force. Because then I would know for sure that's where he want's me. I wouldn't question it, I would just do it. No problem right? Over the last 2 months or so, maybe even before we started looking at houses I've learned the true meaning of wait...wait! I mean stop thinking about it, do something else, go read the bible or paste stickers in a book...wait. I'm talking stop thinking about it for a long time and I'll make it happen! I know I have to wait and be patient because if I don't I'm sinning because I'm worrying about something that is totally out of my control. I have to lay it before him and wait for his word. So I'm gonna do that. No more complaining to others, thinking about it while I'm trying to sleep, stress about it, talk to my hubby about or wonder if they will ever call me. It will happen and when it does, praise the Lord. I'm gonna jump for joy and give 110% at whatever he leads me to do. So here you go Lord, I'm laying at your feet....NOW!

Totally Depending on God

2008-10-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. I never think of how much is he really in control? Total control. I'm not just talking sort of or when he feels like it. He's in absolute, total control!! We are doing a series on Faith right now at church and I have found myself being in awe of his wonder, his majesty, his complete love for us. Why would someone like God want us to love him? Why would he want to forgive us for our sins? Why would he send his one and only son to die on the cross for us?!? Hello!

I have had to have faith over the last couple of months. My husband and I got a house and my current job dropped my hours from 30 to 20. I started to ask myself..."how on earth are we going to survive with me working 20 hours a week?" We don't! I had the opportunity to work for a guy full time and we was willing to let me work with him four days a week 10 hours a day. I had it all set up. I even had a start date. Two days before I started working for him he called me to tell me he was going to have to push my start date back a little. I found out later that day it was going to be a whole month. He promised me contract work and was supposed to call me Monday of last week! I haven't heard from him since. I now have two jobs waiting for me. One at the church that would allow me to work 30 hours in one department and then 10 in the other. Yeah...40 hours a week. Then "the guy" sent my information onto someone who was looking for a full time graphic designer to work from home editing and designing magazines for McKinney! Boy, I tell you want. If the Lord gives me any more choices to choose from, my head is going to explode! God is faithful isn't he.

Hold the phone!

2008-07-31T22:33:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a week. I haven't posted anything since the 23rd of this month. We started VBS on Monday and I gotta tell you, it was a blast. Granted, I'm so glad that it's over but boy was it fun. I totally could have gone another couple of days. Funny how tired you feel after you've come home, sat down and took a minute to reflect on how tired you actually were. This week was awesome!! My little nieces came with me this week. They absolutely loved...LOVED IT! :) That makes me so happy! So happy indeed! So we learned about all sorts of stuff, magic words that make you shout, how to listen, obey God's word, stand up for God and so much more. They have already told me that they want to come back next year! I can't wait.

Nothing new on the house as of right now. We have put in our final paperwork and the FHA guy came out to appraise the house. We will find something out by the middle of next week. I'm still patient but ready to burst with anticipation.

Still Waiting

2008-07-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Since the loan officer didn't get all the information to begin with, we have to meet with the loan officer and bank that has our student loans. They were supposed to call us on Monday but never did and today is Wednesday. Sy will call them today on his lunch break to see what's up! In the meantime, pray for me to stop obsessing about the house. I know it's a big deal and the Lord knows how I feel. He has the control to take care of it or not. I just need to put my faith in him and stop worrying about it! K!

Sy's wasp bite is better but not gone. His poison ivy however, looks terrible! It's getting worse, poor thing. He comes home at night and runs hot water on it to make the itch go away. It seems to work for an hour or so but he has to do it again.

We decided not to get new cell phones but just change our usage. One of the phones on our bill is going away in August unless they decide to start paying for it and the other doesn't get used all that much. We should be able to lower it that way. We'll see!

loan officers don't get all the info

2008-07-21T22:37:00.000-07:00

We are now waiting to get all the information to the bank to get our loan. The loan officer turned in our paper work and information is missing on it. Go figure. She didn't get all our loans put on the paper work correctly so the bank is asking questions. We are going to have a conference call with our school loan people and the bank tomorrow hopefully. Gosh, this is a lot of waiting!

In the Final Process

2008-07-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

So the plumbing issues turned out to be a simple fix. One (low water pressure) was fixed for free by turning on the water valve at the hot water heater! Two (leak in the front) will be fixed for $600 by fixing the shut off valve. So with all the new information we are just waiting on the final numbers for us to qualify. Our lender says we do but we have our doubts. Only time will tell. Either way we qualify but don't want to call it home until it's FOR SURE! You know what I mean.

Talk about for sure. Guess what we did yesterday to the house we're not for sure on? We did more yard work. We cleaned up the flowerbeds, pulled out some over-grown vines, trimmed some stuff and cut down some stuff. I only helped for a little while cause I had to be at my other job at 9:00. Sy got stung by a yellow jacket! His arm is swollen. We will keep an eye on it and see if it gets worse.

Going out today to look at lowering our cell phone bills. Our contract is up and Sprint is too expensive. We will see what we can get by with.

As always...I'll keep you posted. :)

Patience My Love

2008-07-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

Nothing new on this front as of yet. Since our contract started, I'm getting antsy by the minute. I'm so ready to call that place home I can't see straight. I go to sleep at night envisioning our things in that house...walking through each room, picturing the photos and pieces of artwork on the walls. Then I go to other parts, thinking what needs to be done and when will we get to tackle it. I'm fully prepared to take time on preparing our new home for a family but really want it now. I know that isn't the case since both Sy and I have two jobs and hardly any time. The time we do have, we spend together and hopefully serving others to glorify God. When this is all said and done and we are moved in, we plan to do exactly that. I'm ready...Sy has even said that this house will never be complete. I'm prepared for that too! I just want a place to call home and I really want it to be this one. Patience!

We're Almost There!

2008-07-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

The final contract started today! We have a week to decide what we want to do. Pending the plumber...it looks like we are going to have a house this time next month.

My father-in-law and I went out today to see the A/C guy. He's quite good! The only things wrong...did I say ONLY? The only thing wrong with the A/C that wasn't working at all, was the stickin fire ants! The ants got up into the connectors and was keeping the unit from turning on. We turned it on and cool air was coming out. It needed a charge so we charged it and now it's good to go! He walked around to check all the other things wrongs with the house so that we will have an idea of what its going to cost. He was quite the Handyman! I sure hope this all works out for us to get this house. It's personal now! Oh! They took our house off the market yesterday! :)

In Waiting

2008-07-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

We got the house inspected today. It was a good report surprisingly. The only major things wrong with it was the A/C and low water pressure. Sy has an A/C guy coming out this afternoon to take a look at it. The plumber will be out tomorrow I think. Pray that both things are easy to fix and not very expensive. Key word there, "expensive". We don't want to get in the hole before we've even bought the place, you know! Any way, I'm waiting...again. I can't say patiently because I would be lying! I'm about to explode with excitement! Wooooo whooooo!

GET OUT!

2008-07-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

Okay seriously...why are we so territorial?!? I mean really! We went out to the property to mow it to make it look good and so that the inspector could see what he was looking for. It took us four hours to do .75 acres with two regular lawn mowers. My hands are sore and Sy got a blister. Some guy came up to the edge of our land and shouted..."can we take a look at your land?" "um...no", I sweetly replied. He argued with us it was still on the market and my sweet hubby shouted, "CONTRACT PENDING". He he! Then today, we took my parents out to see the inside and a Realtor showed up to show it and was mean to us. I'll never forget how she said it and reading it doesn't do it justice. Let's just say, she was snooty about it and then brushed Sy aside. The whole time this was happening, my heart was pounding and I was ready to jump her and start pounding...get out of my house! I was infuriated with the whole thing. I couldn't stop thinking about those people in my house and wanted to shout...we already bought yall! Na ni na ni boo boo!!!

Lifehouse Everything Drama

2008-07-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

I love this Video. The first time I saw it I cried. It reminds me that He loves us so much. He will step in and take care of us.

Where to Begin?

2008-07-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

So this is the first time I've ever had a real blog. I have a website where I keep a blog but haven't really kept up with updating it. This is like a web diary. Very weird but sort of cool. I don't even know where to begin to get you updated with my life.

First of all let me say, God is an awesome God! He has a plan for our lives even before we were born (a really good friend of mine knows this first hand). She said that through her trials, she will go through what she is going through as long as God will be Glorified. I'm here to tell you now, what she is going through has made an impact on many lives, especially my own. There is many things going on in my life but things that are going on in my families lives make mine seem very small. Where to begin?

My Brother and Sister-in-law: They had two beautiful twin boys 7 weeks ago yesterday. Through many hurdles, the twins were born. The larger twin (Hunter) is doing fine. The smaller twin (Jack) passed away yesterday at 5:15pm in his mothers arms. I can only imagine what they are going through and pray to God I never have to go through it. I know that God is giving them the strength to go on every day...without him, they would be lost for sure. My heart goes out to them on so many different levels.

An Adventure Finding A New Home: My husband just graduated and I've been out of school for a little over two years. My loans have come due and his will start coming soon. With all the debt, we were going to have to move into a one bedroom, very small apartment to pay off debt before children. There was no way we would qualify for a loan to buy a house. After only a couple of months we came to the realization, moving into a small apartment was very real. We looked at a couple, none of which worked with the very large furniture. We started to figure what stuff we could sell. Then within a month or two of that, we were presented with the opportunity to buy a house of our own. We looked four a couple months. All the houses we looked at were too small, too large, wasted space, bad neighborhood, good neighborhood but bad location. We finally found a house in Lowery's Crossing on an acre of land so we put an offer on it. The bank countered our first offer so we countered back. While waiting for the bank to counter offer, another house became available. We went out to look at it to see what we were missing out on only to find out that the house we put an offer on had major drainage issues. So we took our offer back and put an offer on the new house (after it only being on the market for a couple of days). It was twice the square footage for 1,000 less!!! A day after it was put on the market, someone else put an offer on it for 100.00 more. If God is willing he will make it happen...their offer fell through and ours was accepted! Praise the Lord! Patience paid off! I can see the light...FINALLY!

So that is all I can post for tonight because it's late and I know I've given you enough food for thought. I pray that you get something from this and if not, keep reading days ahead. I'm sure something will come out of it. :)